January 15, 2011

Fact #188: A million pieces

One of my goals in life is to come up with a catchphrase that sweeps the nation.

For example, in describing a very attractive man I have sometimes been known to say, "I wanna climb him like a monkey!" (That one, for some reason, hasn't caught on like wildfire. I really don't get why.)

Anyway, probably partly out of being a little bit simple-minded and partly out of laziness, I tend to sort of get stuck on a certain expression for a while. I'll use it all the time for a few weeks and then drop it suddenly when I come up with something better.

My most recent phrase has been, 'My heart is in a million pieces.' That might sound like a little bit of a downer, but it can actually be used in tons of different ways, ranging from happy to sad to hyperbolic. And hyperbole is always fun.
Some examples:

You see the cutest thing you've ever seen in your whole life? -- "My heart is in a million pieces!"

You're craving froyo, but there is none to be had? -- "My heart is in a million pieces!"

You lose something important and can't find it? -- "My heart is in a million pieces!"

Your heart actually is in a million pieces? -- "My heart is in a million pieces!"

You stub your toe? -- "GAAAAaaaah..! Owwy owwy owwy, dammit dammit dammit!!!" (Okay, so it doesn't cover every situation.)

Til tomorrow!

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