Fact #349: Help

One of the hardest things for me to do is to accept help without feeling like a big fat failure, a drain on society, and a hopeless, helpless lost cause.

I'm working on it, though.

I'm trying to get better at accepting help with simple grace and gratitude, knowing that those moments will come when I'm able to turn around and help someone else.

That's slightly easier said than done. But I'm working on it. 


Til tomorrow.

Fact #291: My heart cracks as it expands

Before I left Colorado, and again before I left Chicago, even as excitement bubbled up inside me for the coming adventure, another thought started repeating in my head louder and louder as my departure grew nearer. "Why am I leaving this?"

Leaving is hard. I've left people I love everywhere I've ever lived.

But with each move, I've also met wonderful, amazing people in my new city. If I hadn't left Chicago, I wouldn't know any of the people in Pittsburgh who have become such a big part of my life.

And when I leave Pittsburgh, I'll be heading off to meet a whole bunch of new cool people. It's the best and the worst part of moving. 

One thing these big moves have taught me, though, is that you've got to hold on to the people who are really special to you. You will move. They will move. Life and work and family will exert their pull on everyone. But don't let go of the ones you love, no matter how large the distance between you.

Now how 'bout a group hug? Anyone? Anyone?


Til tomorrow!

Fact #287: Happy Easter!

Today's one of those days I wish I lived closer to home -- or home away from home, aka Minneapolis. Easter is a holiday that's best celebrated with family.

It's not really a big enough holiday to warrant a plane trip home, but it would have been fun to hide eggs in the backyard for my niece and nephew! (I heard there was even some re-hiding of eggs so the hunt could go on a little longer. Very sneaky.) Instead, I got to spend the day making coffee. Well, not even too much of that, actually. Mostly my coworker and I just hung out and drank the coffee ourselves.

On the upside, I did have a giant chocolate chip cookie for dinner. So I'd still call this Easter a modest success.




Til tomorrow!

Fact #280: Expectations vs results (a story with a happy ending)

Remember when I decided I wanted to learn how to crochet? I started very patiently, practicing different stitches and then unraveling my work so I wouldn't waste yarn. But after a while, even though my technique was still pretty.. um.. rough, I got sick of unraveling everything all the time. I wanted a finished product, darn it!

So I found a cute little stuffed animal pattern that was labeled 'easy', and I started crocheting away.

I kept crocheting, even when I got the colors of the ears mixed up, so they didn't match.

I kept crocheting, even as I wondered why the head was turning out so squashed looking.

I kept crocheting, even as it became clear that whatever I was making had mutated far beyond the help of any 'pattern'.

This is what I was going for:

And this is what I got:

Uhh..

Different, right?

I had a lot of mixed emotions about this. First, I felt proud. I was so proud of my handiwork that I wanted to share this little guy with the whole world.

Then, I felt scared. Because let's face it, he looks a liiiittle creepy.

Then, I felt embarrassed. Because if I, a grown woman, was scared of this little bear/anteater, how could I possibly give him to a kid to play with?

I brought him with me on my trip Philadelphia to give to my brother and sister-in-law as a gift for my niece (although I almost chickened out and just left him in my suitcase). But I was very gratified that the reaction when I gave him to them was one of excitement, not raw terror. Maybe there was hope for the little guy after all.

And then, a few days later, my sister-in-law sent me this picture:

His name is now Aorta, and she's feeding him a cracker.

I think he'll be just fine.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #272: It's pronounced 'ooo'

The first day in Philly, we checked out some of the historical points of interest -- Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, and Elfreth's Alley. We took a few tours and brushed up on our U.S. history. (We also bought some delicious food, including Butter Krak eggs, from Reading Terminal.)

The next day (after more food and more Butter Krak eggs) we went to the Mütter Museum.


The Mütter Museum is a museum of human oddities and medical pathology. And it. Is. Crazy. Ca-razy!

Usually I have an internal museum timer -- after a couple of hours wandering through galleries and displays, my brain starts making a beeping noise that indicates it's no longer willing to accept any more information. (It will, however, accept a giant cookie.)

But we spent a long time wandering around the Mütter, and my museum timer never went off.


It was really fascinating. I'm sort of a sucker for that kind of stuff. The human body is so strange/wonderful/resilient/fragile.

I also saw this in the gift shop and almost bought it, then realized that would actually be a horrible idea.


I'm not allowed to read this book, ever. If you see me trying to read this book, slap it out of my hands.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #239: Laurel Schroeder, homebrewer

I totally helped brew beer today!! I was a vital contributor throughout the entire process -- which basically meant adding various ingredients to a giant vat of boiling water at the appropriate intervals. But that's most of what brewing is, really.

To quote Bob*: "I just let the boat do the work, that was my secret."


Til tomorrow!

*What About Bob?: possibly one of the best movies of all time? Discuss.

Fact #237: No time, no time!

The clock on my computer says 11:52pm. Let's see how much stuff I can write and still manage to post this before midnight..

1) I had my audition for the TCUTA's today. I felt good about it. Foot = in the door of the Minneapolis/St. Paul theatre scene. Awesome.

2) Someone once told me to think of auditions as a three minute party. It's your chance to invite the auditors to your party. Maybe that doesn't make any sense, but I think of it sometimes right before I go into an audition, and it always helps. I like it because it helps me throw my energy outward instead of keeping it focused inward. After all, I want to be a good host!

3) My niece said my name today and my heart exploded.

4) I'm the queen of Bananagrams.

5) Augh, only 2 minutes left!!!

6) I borrowed two cars today, both were automatics. Sometimes I wish my car was an automatic. It's so easy! That way I can focus more of my attention on the text messages I'm sending. Just kidding. Seriously, don't text and drive. And for the love of god, don't read a newspaper and drive. Or put on makeup and drive. Or shave and drive. (Those are all things I've seen people try to do.)

6) Time's up. G'night!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #222: Puppies vs Elephants

When I was little, I (for some reason) had a huge stuffed elephant.

I also had a sweet, wonderful dog named Lily.

She liked to use the elephant as a pillow.




I found these pictures in a stack of old photos, and I couldn't stop smiling/giggling/crying.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #186: The wisdom of old age

This is an actual exchange (paraphrased because I don't remember the actual actual exchange) that took place when I was visiting my family over the holidays.

(Everyone is sitting at the table eating breakfast.)

My 17-month-old niece: (smashing her banana on the table and reaching for her sippy cup) Milk! Milk!

Me: Isn't that crazy? She knows exactly what she wants. First she wants banana, then she wants milk. How does she know that?

My brother: She's not an alien. She's just a little person.

Me: Yeah, but how does she know?

My brother: How do you know?

Me: Years of experience have taught me that you should always have milk after banana.

(I was lying. I never knew that.)


Til tomorrow!

Fact #174: 2011 -- roughly the number of french fries I ate today

Today was the first day of the new year. So far, I'm pretty satisfied.

I started 2011 off on the right foot with a full body workout -- pulling/pushing my niece around the house in a laundry basket, then hefting the basket into the air over and over. Seriously, that was a better workout than I've gotten in a long time. No personal trainer in the world will ever motivate me more than Isla's sweet voice saying, "Again, again!"

Then, to counterbalance my workout, I spent the afternoon consuming half my body-weight in french fries and cheese covered in gravy. It was my brother and sister-in-law's second annual New Year's Day Poutine and Pints Party! Poutine is a Canadian dish -- and its three ingredients are french fries, cheese, and gravy.

Uh. Yum.

We borrowed my other brother's industrial grade french fry cutter. (Yeah, he's got an industrial grade french fry cutter! The real question is, why don't you? And why don't I??). That process in itself was another kind of workout. As you can see, slicing up dozens of potatoes takes a bit of upper body strength!



So that's it. One day of 2011 down, 364 more to go. I have very high hopes for this year. I think it's gonna be a good one.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #173: Guest blogger today

I started writing a post about New Year's resolutions, but then my little niece generously offered to write it for me. Here are her words of wisdom to ring in the new year:

?Olluyrlllkk8nhnnhnhhhh7u76yytytdge4rergfghSer kllkk76i8777777777723

Thank you, Isla! I think those are sentiments none of us will soon forget.


Til tomorrow (a whole new year)!

Fact #170: Christmas is over when I say it's over!

I got an awesome gift today! And I have one more to give tomorrow. I like to make the holidays last. More cookies and eggnog? Why thank you. Don't mind if I do.


Til tomorrow.

PS. I realize that this blog post is both short and somewhat lame. I deeply apologize. Tomorrow I'll post pictures of puppies as atonement.

PPS. In the meantime, here's a picture of the awesome gift I got. These super-sweet sneakers!

Thanks secret Santa!

Fact #149: If I had a superpower

Sometimes I wish I could wrap everyone I know in a big protective bubble. A bubble that would keep out random terrible violence, illness, heartbreak, natural disasters, loss... I wish I could have some guarantee that everything will be okay.

Of course, I can't. Life totally doesn't work that way. But I still wish I could.

So the next best thing I can do is try to keep love, joy, and optimism alive in myself and the people I care about, no matter what happens.

Of course, sometimes I can't do that either. But I always try.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #116: The most expensive book about pancakes you'll ever read

One of my all-time favorite things to do is buy books for my niece and nephew. I love kids' books. There are a ton I remember reading over and over when I was a kid, so I'm always trying to hunt them down to pass them on to the next generation.

Like, for example, this book --

-- in which (among other things) a pig, a squirrel and a cat stuff a suitcase full of jam, cheese and other picnic foods.

Poetry.

It changed my life. I never knew you could fit that much food in a suitcase before.

Another one of my favorite books from when I was little is called Pancake Pie --

-- about a farmer and his cat trying to make pancake pie for the cat's birthday, and encountering all kinds of trouble. Fun story. Awesome illustrations. It's a classic.

Well, obviously I'm not the only person who considers it a classic, because I just looked for it on Amazon.com and a used copy costs $55.72! What??!?!!?

For that kind of money, I'll write my own book about pancakes! It'll be called Reasonably Priced Pancakes for Everyone and will be illustrated mainly with stick figures, scribbles, and hearts. Ooo, I smell a bestseller...


Til tomorrow!

Fact #91: I'm homesick for a place that's not my actual home

I need another trip to Minneapolis.

And don't bother telling me I just had one -- I already tried telling myself that, but I'm just not buying it. I miss my people. And those darn babies! They're growing up so fast, even though I specifically keep telling them not to!

All right. I've convinced myself. Another trip to Minneapolis it is. I'll get there someway, somehow! By plane, train, or automobile! (Ooh, I sense a hilarious madcap road-trip movie in the making. . .)

PS. For your listening pleasure, here's my Song of the Day for 10/10/10:



Til tomorrow!

Fact #60: No hitting!

I honestly am trying to be a good influence on my niece and nephew. But it's so hard!

As I may have mentioned, my sense of humor tends toward the violent and/or inappropriate. Here are a few of my favorite things to do, which I am trying very hard not to pass on to my tiny relatives:

• Pretending to get mad and smash things or flip things over (in reaction to as mild a disappointment as, "We're out of bagels.")
• Pretending to punch people in the face.
• Making jokes centered around people's (low) mental capacity or general (un)attractiveness.
• Whining as loudly and over-the-toply as possible whenever I don't get my way.

I'm pretty sure those are all things you're supposed to tell kids NOT to do. Oopsy.

Well, kids, don't pay any attention to Aunt Laurel (aka Aunt Lola, aka Auntie Muffintop).


Til tomorrow.

Fact #59: I can participate in adult conversations...

...but I'd rather play with babies and practice my sweet dance moves.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #58: I'm surrounded by cuteness

There are dangerous levels of cuteness in this household. And not just because I'm here.

Ha ha! Good one.
*high fives self*

No, but seriously. Look at this cutie patootie! Help! I'm powerless in the face of such blatant cuteness.



Til tomorrow!

Fact #55: Shakespeare vs Babies and Puppies

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Guess what?

I'm about to embark on a week of nonstop awesome! What's going on, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Much Ado opens today!!! We have our first performance at 2pm. I slept in til 10, which I never do -- now I'm gonna do a little yoga, have a little coffee, do a little warmin' up, then head over to the park. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited to play!

Tomorrow we've got another performance. Then I have to run some errands to get ready for . . .

A trip to Minneapolis!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeee!!!! (Too many exclamation points? I beg to differ.)

O.M.Babies and Puppies.

I can barely contain my excitement. What am I gonna do when I get there, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

1) Put my face on a puppy tummy. Two puppy tummies probably.
2) Try to make my little niece laugh. It is the ultimate goal of my life and the most satisfying sound ever.
3) Have lengthy conversations with my nephew, who I hear is saying all kinds of big words now.
4) Taste test all the new homebrews on tap in my brother's kegerator.
5) Catch up with all my siblings, including my younger brother who's visiting from overseas.
6) Play the word game with my dad.
7) Play crokinole with anyone who'll accept the challenge!
8) Trade albums with my sister-in-law, my music guru.
9) Have a sleepover at my sister's new place, which will also hopefully entail some wine and girl talk.
10) Take lots and lots of pictures - there's even been talk of a big family photo since we'll all be there.

I like going home. It feeds my soul.

But first things first -- as the old saying goes, "Shakespeare before babies and puppies."

Coffee: check.
Yoga: check.
Sunscreen: check.
Know my lines: check.
Not raining: check.

Annnnd, week of nonstop awesome . . . GO!



Til tomorrow!

Fact #35: More birthdays are for more celebrating

So, guess what?? Today is my dad's birthday!! Yep, his birthday is two days after my mom's. (For as long as I can remember, probably since before I was born, he's enjoyed pointing out that for those two days she is two years older than him instead of one year older. She, of course, is hysterically amused by this.)

My dad (again, in my completely unbiased opinion) is the best dad ever.

He's a walking tome of jokes, magic tricks and puns, and needs just the barest nudge to unleash them with great glee. He's my favorite person to beat at the Word Game, and I guess one or two times he might have beat me.. nevermind, I don't want to talk about it. He taught me a lot about deciding what's important to me and organizing my life around those things. He's found a balance in life that inspires me. He loves birds and birdwatching, and therefore, obviously, isn't a big fan of cats.

But he likes dogs! :)

Til tomorrow!