Fact #338: It's just a flesh wound

I got another mole sliced out of me today! On my foot this time. Which, incidentally, is my new least favorite place to have stitches. How am I supposed to run with stitches on my foot?? I guess the answer is, "painfully and with a limp." Or, "you're not."

Sigh.

I'm not letting it stop me from doing yoga though! I took today off, but I think that's good enough. I've got a month pass that expires in 10 days, so I've got to soak it up while I can!

Anyway, after two hours at the dermatologist's office (88% waiting, 12% mole slicing), I spent the rest of the day watching the Tony's and puttering around the house sorting through the rest of my stuff. I've got it mostly sorted into three piles: keep, donate, and foist off on friends. The pile of stuff that's coming with me to Houston is actually amazingly small. I downsize pretty easily, I guess! 

As my prize for getting all that stuff done, I limped over the the Southside Works to watch Bridesmaids with a friend. (I realize I'm a little late to the party on that one, but I haven't been to the movies in forever.) It was so funny! And gross. And funny! And sweet. I really like Kristen Wiig, she gets the humor without letting go of the truth. 

Now I've gotta take some ibuprofen for my sore little footsie and go to bed.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #285: Vitamin C-ed!!

Last week I bought a 3lb bag of clementine oranges. I almost bought the 5lb crate, but I got too scared. In fact, I normally shy away from buying fruit in any kind of bag/box/crate situation. It's too much for me to commit to.

But these clementines were just so.. darn.. cute! So adorable and tasty-looking. So bite-sized and easy to peel. They overcame my natural fear of produce commitment.

All week long, I've been eating them like they're candy and I'm a kid whose parents let her shove candy in her face all day long. By now I only have one or two left.

But I think all that vitamin C is working! A couple of times over the past few months, I've hit that point where I miiiiight get sick -- and each time, I pulled myself back from the brink without ever actually coming down with something. (And yes, I realize that by saying that, I'm basically flicking fate in the forehead and then running away as fast as I can.)

Anyway, the main point is, next time I'm getting the crate.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #278: I just can't get enough

Yesterday I called and made an appointment to see my dermatologist in June. I'm gonna have her slice out another one of my freckles before I leave town.

You know, for old times' sake.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #235: Eeeeeeeee!!!!

I love winning things. Bets, prizes, races, count-the-jelly-beans-in-a-jar contests.. anything, really.

Well, guess what? I just won a registration into the Pittsburgh Half Marathon!!!! Wheeee!!!!!

O.M.13.1 Miles. I'm so excited.


I guess now I better really start training. :)


Til tomorrow!

Fact #206: Stitch free

I got my stitches out today! And I didn't cry at all.

So... where's my sticker/lollipop?


Til tomorrow!

Fact #191: Stitches vs Massages

Tomorrow morning I'm getting a massage! Then I'm getting another mole sliced out and more stitches.

Guess which one I'm more excited about.

No, really. Guess.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #183: A bigger chunk

I'm going in next week to have another mole removed. I'm hoping they make a big enough cut to get clear margins, so I won't have to go back for a second round this time.

Words I never thought I'd say:
Hey doc, can you slice out a bigger chunk of my flesh? Thanks!

Til tomorrow!

Fact #151: A cross between an art project, a science experiment, and a spy mission

Even though I had one bad mole, my dermatologist assured me that it doesn't mean they're all bad. But she did tell me to keep an eye on them. If any of my freckles change or if any new ones appear, then I should alert the proper authorities immediately.

Which is fine except, as I might have mentioned, I've got about a billion freckles. And keeping tabs on all of them is more than my brain can handle.

So I decided to photo-document my moles. I'll take pictures of all my limbs and save them in a 'freckle folder'. That way I won't drive myself nuts later on, wondering if that mole I just noticed has been there all along or not. I'll just refer back to my handy freckle map and I'll know for sure!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #148: More fun with moles

I went in today to get my mole re-excised. They basically just needed to take a bigger chunk, to make sure they had a clear border from the weird cells in my mole.

The dermatologist described what they do as "punching a hole in my arm." To which I replied, "oh, great."

Last time they totally numbed my arm. This time they tried to numb the area, but I guess the scar tissue that was already there made it hard. So it hurt like a sonofabitch! We were just chatting about the weather and the big blizzard last year... and then all of a sudden she sliced me in the arm! Ow ow ow!! And when she sewed it up, I could feel the needle going through and the thread pulling tight. It. Was. Super. Gross.

Luckily I have a will of steel. So I only cried a little.

We also had a nice little chat about my other moles, and she rechecked a few of the ones she had been on the fence about during my last visit. So, in January I'm gonna go get another one taken out! Why the hell not, right? The more the merrier. And all these stitches and scars are great for my street cred.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #108: I just need a moment to freak out

I got my stitches out today.

While I was sitting in the room waiting for the nurse to take them out, my dermatologist came in with the pathology results. She told me that my mole was atypical, and that I have to go back in a couple of weeks to get more of the area around the mole removed.

Then she left and the nurse removed my stitches while I sat there and cried.

It was a little pathetic.

But you know what? I needed a moment to freak out about it. Because I was hoping the lab results would be totally fine, so anything else is scary and disappointing. Because going back for another excision will cost me even more money. Because my insurance sucks. Because I've already got a gouge in my arm and now there's going to be an even bigger one.

The thing is, it's not the worst news anybody got today. I'll go back in and get it taken care of. I'll keep getting check-ups and watching my skin and taking care of myself the best I can. It's not a huge deal. It'll be okay.

I just needed to have my freak-out before I could see it that way.

Maybe not everybody does that -- but that's how I roll, yo.





Til tomorrow.

Fact #104: Band-Aid Glue vs My Flesh

My arm is mad at me.

I, in turn, am mad at the people who make Band-Aids.

The doctor told me to keep my stitches covered, so I've been diligently applying a new bandage morning and night.

The stitches are healing up nicely, but the same can't be said for the patch of skin around them, which is being slowly but surely destroyed by the Band-Aid glue. It's like no one told the makers of Band-Aids that people would be sticking these things to their bodies, not using them to hang shit on the walls. So maybe using industrial strength super glue was a bit of overkill.

Ouch.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #101: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

The mole I had removed last week was on my left upper arm. After the doctor stitched up the giant gaping hole she made in my flesh, she said (and these were her exact words): "Try not to use your arm."

Um. Okay.

I must have given her a weird look, so she added: "I just don't want you to pop your stitches."

Ummm. Okay.

I'm not trying to undersell myself here. I mean, I'd say I have average or perhaps slightly above average upper body strength. I do yoga (the kind with lots of pushups). I can do a pullup or two. There's definitely a little muscle in those arms.

But it's not like every time I flex, my shirt is ripped to shreds Hulk-style. I'm not straining the seams of my sleeves or anything. I'm not sure exactly what the doctor imagined I would be doing with my arms that might cause my stitches to bust wide open.

I, of course, completely disregarded her directive. I did yoga the day after I got my stitches. I've done massages, lifted heavy stuff over my head, gone to the gym. And, despite all of these amazing feats of strength, my stitches seem to be doing fine.

But it's still there in the back of my mind. I could pop my stitches.

Now anytime my arm hurts even the slightest bit, I imagine my stitches snapping like guitar strings, bits of black thread flying like shrapnel, and blood and guts pouring out. (Yes, I have guts in my arm.)

I know it's not very likely to happen. But just in case, don't make me mad.















Til tomorrow!

Fact #94: AAAAHH!!!! There's a hole in my ARM!!!!

I had to get a mole removed today.

Well, more of a freckle, really.

I mean, it wasn't a giant growth with all kinds of hairs growing out of it. It was just a freckle that was a little darker than the rest of my freckles, with an irregular shape.

My dermatologist said she didn't like it (which seems to be getting a little personal, but far be it from me to defend my moles -- I don't like them much either).

So she had me come in this afternoon and she SLICED IT OUT OF MY ARM!!

For real. There was some serious slicing and maybe even some gouging. She took a chunk out of my arm. I had to get stitches and everything!

My insurance has such a high deductible that I'm basically paying for this out of pocket. I told my doctor that, and she was really helpful in trying to find ways to keep my costs down. They're sending my arm chunk to the cheapest place possible for the pathology report and billed the removal as 'cosmetic' because for some reason that's cheaper.

But it's still gonna cost me upwards of $300 for the whole thing. Um, really? For a tiny little speck on my arm? That's like $108,000 per square inch!

Maybe I can form some kind of peace treaty with the rest of my moles. They stay a nice regular shape and consistent color, and I won't let dermatologists talk shit about them. Because none of us really want more gouging, do we guys? No.


Til tomorrow.