Fact #337: My to do list is raging out of control

One of the things I've always secretly wanted to do (besides join the circus) is to write a picture book.

I remember with amazing clarity some of the great pictures books I read when I was little, and the impression they left on me. I loved them then, and reading them years later, I love them all over again. I've been having the best time buying books for my niece and nephew. It's seriously too much fun!

Those books are so f(a word I can't say because I'm talking about children's books)ing awesome!

I think the art of writing pictures books is really fascinating, too. They're so short, every word matters. They're like poetry.

So, yeah. Sometime in between finishing my Monster Reading List, finding more monologues, packing, cleaning, moving across the country, taking trapeze classes, and doing a buttload of yoga, I want to write a picture book.

Oh, I know. I'll just do it in my spare time!


Til tomorrow!

Fact #238: Heart = 1,000,000 pieces

So far, this have been a great visit for baby/puppy time.

I have to admit, I've got a giant crush on my niece -- her smile is just about the best thing ever! I love playing with her, making her laugh and watching her think. She's so cute and super smart!

And when she's not into being adored by me, Bruno conveniently turns up to soak up all the extra attention I've got.

It's a perfect system, really.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #234: Work / Play

This weekend I'm heading to Minneapolis for the Twin Cities Unified Theatre Auditions. I figure since I've got a place to stay up there, I should be trying harder to get some work in the Twin Cities. It would be such a fun excuse to spend a couple of months with my super wonderful family!

My audition is on Saturday -- ideally I'll get some summer work out of it, and at the very least I'll be planting the seeds for future casting. Then I've got the next few days to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law, play with my niece, and drink some homebrewed beer. Life doesn't get a lot better than that!!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #186: The wisdom of old age

This is an actual exchange (paraphrased because I don't remember the actual actual exchange) that took place when I was visiting my family over the holidays.

(Everyone is sitting at the table eating breakfast.)

My 17-month-old niece: (smashing her banana on the table and reaching for her sippy cup) Milk! Milk!

Me: Isn't that crazy? She knows exactly what she wants. First she wants banana, then she wants milk. How does she know that?

My brother: She's not an alien. She's just a little person.

Me: Yeah, but how does she know?

My brother: How do you know?

Me: Years of experience have taught me that you should always have milk after banana.

(I was lying. I never knew that.)


Til tomorrow!

Fact #175: Bruno's couch invasion

In the front entryway of my brother's house, there's an old green couch. Over time, it's been designated 'Bruno's Couch'.

Bruno is the sweetest dog in the world and is so gentle and patient with my niece -- but the couch is his sanctuary, his place to escape and have a little peace and quiet when he needs it. Even though the couch is blocked off from the living room, he can easily jump over the armrest and curl up on the comfy cushions.

But a few mornings ago, Isla found a breach in the perimeter. We heard a noise from the other room and came in to see her sitting on the couch, curled up next to Bruno. She was patting his fur and saying, "Hi Bruno buddy!"


My heart just exploded into a million pieces. It was seriously the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

It also made me laugh because I realized that just a few days earlier, someone had taken this picture of me.


Poor Bruno. He's just too popular!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #174: 2011 -- roughly the number of french fries I ate today

Today was the first day of the new year. So far, I'm pretty satisfied.

I started 2011 off on the right foot with a full body workout -- pulling/pushing my niece around the house in a laundry basket, then hefting the basket into the air over and over. Seriously, that was a better workout than I've gotten in a long time. No personal trainer in the world will ever motivate me more than Isla's sweet voice saying, "Again, again!"

Then, to counterbalance my workout, I spent the afternoon consuming half my body-weight in french fries and cheese covered in gravy. It was my brother and sister-in-law's second annual New Year's Day Poutine and Pints Party! Poutine is a Canadian dish -- and its three ingredients are french fries, cheese, and gravy.

Uh. Yum.

We borrowed my other brother's industrial grade french fry cutter. (Yeah, he's got an industrial grade french fry cutter! The real question is, why don't you? And why don't I??). That process in itself was another kind of workout. As you can see, slicing up dozens of potatoes takes a bit of upper body strength!



So that's it. One day of 2011 down, 364 more to go. I have very high hopes for this year. I think it's gonna be a good one.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #91: I'm homesick for a place that's not my actual home

I need another trip to Minneapolis.

And don't bother telling me I just had one -- I already tried telling myself that, but I'm just not buying it. I miss my people. And those darn babies! They're growing up so fast, even though I specifically keep telling them not to!

All right. I've convinced myself. Another trip to Minneapolis it is. I'll get there someway, somehow! By plane, train, or automobile! (Ooh, I sense a hilarious madcap road-trip movie in the making. . .)

PS. For your listening pleasure, here's my Song of the Day for 10/10/10:



Til tomorrow!

Fact #86: This is a big moment for me

I realized the other day that I could have a baby.

Just to be clear: I don't have a baby.

Also just to be clear: Seriously. No baby. Not here, not 'on the way'.

But what I realized is that if I did have a kid, I could handle it. I'd rise to the occasion. I'd make it work. Because I'm a smart, capable person. And I have love to give. And even though sometimes I feel like I can barely take care of myself, if some tiny person was relying on me I would do whatever it took to take care of them.

I've always been a little on the fence about whether or not to have kids. Wondering if I'd live up to the responsibility. Wondering if I'd be a good parent. But the truth is, I think I would.

So I guess now I have to decide if it's something I want.

And in the meantime, I'll just borrow other people's!

(I'm not sure what I'm reading here, but clearly

it's both shocking and fascinating.)

Til tomorrow.

Fact #75: Squee?

I was listening to NPR at work the other day, and I heard this story about a group of scientists searching the world for lost amphibians. One of the species they're looking for is the Gastric Brooding Frog, which hasn't been seen since the mid '80s.

Naturally, when I got home I had to google the Gastric Brooding Frog. Actually, I forgot what it was called, so I googled "frog barfs babies" and then "frog vomits babies" -- both of which yielded results of gross frog stories, but not what I was looking for. I finally found the story when I searched for "frog babies mouth". Yeah, I rule at google.

In case you're not a link-clicker, I'll sum it up for you. The froggy mother swallows her eggs and somehow turns off her stomach acids while the babies are gestating. Then a few weeks later, she opens her mouth and up to 25 fully formed frog babies come hopping out.

I have a lot of mixed emotions about this.

First of all: WHAAAT?? She barfs up babies!! That is both disgusting and amazing.

Second of all: Relatively speaking, having a baby the human way doesn't sound so bad now.

Third of all: There hasn't been a documented sighting of this frog since 1983. That means it may have been extinct my whole life. It is utterly heartbreaking and tragic the kind of variety and natural innovation we lose when we destroy habitat.

Fourth of all: She barfs up her babies. Barfs! Babies!

Til tomorrow.

Fact #60: No hitting!

I honestly am trying to be a good influence on my niece and nephew. But it's so hard!

As I may have mentioned, my sense of humor tends toward the violent and/or inappropriate. Here are a few of my favorite things to do, which I am trying very hard not to pass on to my tiny relatives:

• Pretending to get mad and smash things or flip things over (in reaction to as mild a disappointment as, "We're out of bagels.")
• Pretending to punch people in the face.
• Making jokes centered around people's (low) mental capacity or general (un)attractiveness.
• Whining as loudly and over-the-toply as possible whenever I don't get my way.

I'm pretty sure those are all things you're supposed to tell kids NOT to do. Oopsy.

Well, kids, don't pay any attention to Aunt Laurel (aka Aunt Lola, aka Auntie Muffintop).


Til tomorrow.

Fact #59: I can participate in adult conversations...

...but I'd rather play with babies and practice my sweet dance moves.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #58: I'm surrounded by cuteness

There are dangerous levels of cuteness in this household. And not just because I'm here.

Ha ha! Good one.
*high fives self*

No, but seriously. Look at this cutie patootie! Help! I'm powerless in the face of such blatant cuteness.



Til tomorrow!

Fact #55: Shakespeare vs Babies and Puppies

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Guess what?

I'm about to embark on a week of nonstop awesome! What's going on, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Much Ado opens today!!! We have our first performance at 2pm. I slept in til 10, which I never do -- now I'm gonna do a little yoga, have a little coffee, do a little warmin' up, then head over to the park. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited to play!

Tomorrow we've got another performance. Then I have to run some errands to get ready for . . .

A trip to Minneapolis!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeee!!!! (Too many exclamation points? I beg to differ.)

O.M.Babies and Puppies.

I can barely contain my excitement. What am I gonna do when I get there, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

1) Put my face on a puppy tummy. Two puppy tummies probably.
2) Try to make my little niece laugh. It is the ultimate goal of my life and the most satisfying sound ever.
3) Have lengthy conversations with my nephew, who I hear is saying all kinds of big words now.
4) Taste test all the new homebrews on tap in my brother's kegerator.
5) Catch up with all my siblings, including my younger brother who's visiting from overseas.
6) Play the word game with my dad.
7) Play crokinole with anyone who'll accept the challenge!
8) Trade albums with my sister-in-law, my music guru.
9) Have a sleepover at my sister's new place, which will also hopefully entail some wine and girl talk.
10) Take lots and lots of pictures - there's even been talk of a big family photo since we'll all be there.

I like going home. It feeds my soul.

But first things first -- as the old saying goes, "Shakespeare before babies and puppies."

Coffee: check.
Yoga: check.
Sunscreen: check.
Know my lines: check.
Not raining: check.

Annnnd, week of nonstop awesome . . . GO!



Til tomorrow!

Fact #8: Holy crap

My latest quote of the day comes from, where else, Facebook. Of course it does.

A guy I know recently had a baby (I mean, his wife did), and he posted some pictures online. Plenty of friends and family posted their ooh's and aah's, their love and well-wishes.

Somebody wrote a comment of congratulations, adding, "You look appropriately dazed and reverent."

I don't have any kids yet, I don't know if I ever will. But I bet that's exactly what you feel like when you hold your brand new baby. Dazed and reverent. I've felt it to a degree holding my niece and nephew, but I bet it just knocks your socks off when it's your own.

I think that's a big reason people have kids. To love someone that much. We love plenty of people in our lives, but I don't think there's another kind of love like that.



Til tomorrow.