July 21, 2010

Fact #10: Sometimes I count myself out

I have a commercial audition today.

The commercial stuff often feels like playing the 'actor lottery'. You don't really have much control over the outcome, since it's often not based so much on your acting abilities as it is on whether you've got the look they're going for. Not that taking a bite of bread, smiling, but NOT chewing - 'the client doesn't want to see you chew!' - doesn't take a certain amount of skill. (That's a true story, and it's actually harder than it sounds - sucking on soggy bread and grinning like it's the tastiest thing you've ever let disintegrate in your mouth.)

Anyway, for today's audition I'm supposed to be a runner. They're looking for somebody actor-pretty, not model-pretty. Which is good, 'cause that's about the best I can pull off. :)

But sometimes when I get called in for an audition, I start counting myself out before it even happens.

Like today - as I'm pulling out my nicest workout clothes and memorizing the sides for the audition, there's a little voice in the back of my head saying, "What, you? No one's gonna buy you as a runner. Sure, you run, but your hair's too short to pull up in a cute ponytail, and your skin's too pasty for anyone to believe you ever set foot outside. When people see you running down the street, they don't think 'Wow, that girl's so cute!' they think 'Wow, that girl's so.. sweaty.' "

Then I wonder why I'm even bothering to go, when I'm so obviously not what they're looking for.

But that's the whole point of playing the lottery, I guess. You have a shot in hell, but if you don't play, that shot in hell becomes no shot at all.

So I'll go. I'll put on my little running pants and cute running top. I'll have fun with the sides and try not to sweat it too much. Then I'll let them decide if I'm what they're looking for.

And I am a real runner. Look, all these people think so.

Til tomorrow!

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