October 22, 2010

Fact #103: What the EFF, Future Laurel?


You know what doesn't help anybody with anything at all? Imagining the future version of themselves looking back on their present selves and judging everything they do. Seriously.

I think (actually, I sort of hope) that everyone has those days when they feel a little lost, or worry that they're not doing the right things or making the right choices (just because it's comforting to have a little company!).

I already mentioned that I have a list of Crazy Unfounded Fears. Well, at the top of that crazy list is this vision I have of myself, destitute and alone and working at Wal-Mart or something when I'm 80 years old. Because I never got my life together. Or because I made one giant catastrophic mistake that plunged my life into a horrible downward spiral from which I never recovered.


I mean, I have a tendency to worry too much about things anyway. But when I add the silent judgmental glare of Future Laurel Schroeder: Wal-Mart Greeter, it puts a lot of pressure on me. And I do not enjoy that.

So listen up, Future Laurel, if that's your real name. Stop giving me that look. You might be a Wal-Mart Greeter, but I'm not! Hahahaha, sucker! No, seriously. Sorry, but I can't live for you, lady. I gotta live for me.

Til tomorrow.

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