April 23, 2011

Fact #286: Another rollercoaster ride of emotions

Do you wanna know a secret?

Despite the fact that I can't pass a dog on the street without stopping to pet it, despite the fact that in at least half the pictures ever taken of me I'm squeezing a puppy, despite the fact that I talk all the time about wanting a dog...

...sometimes I worry that I'll be a terrible dog owner.

That I'm just in love with being in love with puppies.

That I just like to pet them and play with them, and it'll be a whole different story when I have one of my own and I have to feed it and walk it and take it to the vet and be responsible for its whole life.

That I'm not up to the responsibility.

BUT. Then I remember how when I visit my brother, I unconsciously end up sitting on the floor within 10 minutes of walking into his house. Because that's where Bruno is, and I want to hang out with him.

I remember how I house-sat with Bruno for a week, and he slept upstairs in his little bed, right next to my bed. And how I unfailingly got up in the morning to feed him and let him out because his cold nose in my face told me it was time.

I remember that the only reason I don't have a dog already is because it matters to me so much to wait until I'm able to give it the best life I can.

And then I think, "I'll be the best dog owner ever!"

The only thing I really have to worry about is how it will break my heart into a hundred thousand million pieces when I have to say goodbye, as I inevitably will.

And that, despite how much I already know it will hurt, will be so, so worth it.

Til tomorrow!

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