Fact #232: Mmm.. chunky

Tonight we shot another episode of The Baristas, which involved me willingly having oatmeal smeared in my hair.

You know. For art.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #231: Facing the right way

Some wise words to live by.

"...each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around -- which puts the door behind us -- and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls. The door closed kept us from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality." - Parker J. Palmer

This is a lesson I think I'll have to learn over and over throughout my life. It's in my nature to keep banging on the door. Turn around, Laurel!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #230: I'm a hobo on the outside

I'll admit that, lugging a garbage bag full of massage sheets down the street today, I may have looked a bit like a homeless person. But I also made next month's rent in one day. So I am, in fact, as far from being homeless as I've ever been. Go me.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #229: Defragmenting

My first laptop was a PC (now I have an iBook because I'm super hip). Anyways, I would occasionally run the disk defragmenter on my old laptop to make it use the hard drive more efficiently.


Since my iBook doesn't really trust me to do anything myself, it probably does this to the hard drive without telling me. Seriously, iBook, I can handle it! No? Okay.

But what I really need is a program to do this to my brain. I want my brain to be like that bottom bar, with all those nice big chunks of blue. Not like the top bar, with all those little tiny red lines all over the place.

Actually, I'm getting better at doing it for myself. Keeping all the different things I've got going on straight in my head. Narrowing my focus down to what I'm doing right now, instead of staring into the future and being overwhelmed by all the things looming in my path.

I partly credit yoga (it keeps me present). I partly credit my super creepy "Puppies Doing Yoga" wall calendar (it was a gift!!). I partly credit Steve Jobs (my iPhone mostly tells me what to do).

Either way, my brain definitely works much better when it's defragmented.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #228: Beautiful

This is gonna be another post about how much I hate to fly. If you're sick of hearing about it, just look at this:

Awwwwww..!

Now on to the serious business of my irrational fear of flying.

I flew back from California on Monday night, and it went a little something like this:

The flight is scheduled to land at 11:59 (just a minute before my birthday!), but before we take off the pilot tells us that the winds are in our favor and we'll get in around 11:30. Super sweet. So I try to settle in. I watch an episode of Modern Family. I listen to The Hunger Games on my iPod. I watch a ridiculous movie called Salt.

But I don't do any one of those things for more than 10 or 20 minutes at a time. I watch part of the movie and think, "Nope, this isn't working." So I listen to my iPod. "Nope, not working either." Of course, nothing really works because the only thing I really want is to be on solid ground.

Towards the end, I start getting super antsy from the horrible combination of rising panic and growing boredom. I'm literally counting down the minutes until 11:30.

Then, 10 minutes before we're supposed to be on the ground, the pilot makes an announcement that it's snowing too hard in Pittsburgh -- they cleared a runway for planes to take off, but haven't gotten one clear for planes to land yet.

He says they'll have a runway clear in about an hour and a half, but we don't have enough gas to just circle and wait. So we're being diverted to Buffalo. Literally, I swear he says, "We've got enough fuel left for about 30 minutes, and Buffalo's about 30 minutes away." About??? This is no time for 'about', sir!

Ten minutes later, as I'm envisioning us coasting into Buffalo on fumes, the pilot comes on again and says we get to go back to Pittsburgh, apparently now they think the runways are okay. Okay??? About??? Are these technical terms?

So we turn around and head back to Pittsburgh. By this point I'm pretty certain I'm going to die.

It doesn't help when I plug my headphones into the armrest and tune in to channel 9 (the open channel between the control tower and the planes) only to hear the control tower tell the pilot that, "braking action on the runway is nil." So what should we use to stop, then? The side of a building???

It also doesn't help that when the flight attendant tells us to put our tray tables up and all that, she also adds, "in the event of an emergency evacuation, please leave all of your carry-on baggage behind." Why, is there going to be an emergency evacuation???

Just in case, I put my phone and my wallet in my pocket so that in the unlikely event I survive the crash, I can call for help and then go get a beer.

I look at the girl sleeping next to me and want to punch her in the face for being able to sleep through this.

Then I look out the window.

We're right above the clouds, so it's totally clear. The moon is shining so bright in the sky, and it reflects off the tops of the fluffy clouds. It's so peaceful and beautiful. It's like the magic carpet ride in Aladdin. Only nobody drew this, it's real. I'm flying up in the sky and I get to see what the moonlight looks like on the tops of the clouds.

It's amazing.

It's breathtaking.

But I still hate flying.

Epilogue: We land just fine and everybody applauds. Then I trudge through the parking lot to my car, which takes me forever to find because it's buried in snow. Then I dig my car out of a giant snow drift. Then I drive home from the airport at 1 o'clock in the morning going 20 miles an hour because the roads are so bad. But I do all that with a smile on my face. Because at least I'm on the ground.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #227: Nonstop yoga!

A little while ago I got a Groupon for 30 days of unlimited yoga at my old favorite studio, Amazing Yoga. 30 days of yoga?? Pinch me, I must be dreaming! It's generally a little too pricey for me to go on a regular basis, so I was super excited about this deal.

I started yesterday and I plan on going every single day for the next month. After that, I'll go into yoga withdrawal and just hang around outside the studio doing downward dog and crying. It'll be awkward. For everyone.

But first -- nonstop yoga, day 2! Bring it on!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #226: HBD to me!

I'm another year older today.

Wiser. Cooler. Smarter. Better looking.

But I still don't fit in the big chair.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #225: I don't know the difference between a Ford and a Kia

So I probably shouldn't have bet $100 dollars on it.

Oh man, it would have been so sweet if I was right.

Sigh.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #224: Blogger doesn't believe me --

-- but in California it's only 9:17pm. Bladow!

Today's highlights:

Running 7 miles along the bay.
Seeing the second half of a play.
Driving around for an hour trying to find parking during the first half of said play.
Eating some of the best Chinese food I've ever had.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #223: Usually I fear change...

Since the very first time I got fitted for a pair of running shoes, I've been wearing Asics. I love Asics. Looove. Loooooooove. Looooooooooooooo-- Okay, you get the picture.

But each version of the Gel Foundation is a little different -- I really liked the last ones I had, but when I tried on the newest version I just wasn't a huge fan. So today. . . I bought my first pair of Brooks!! Aaaaaaah!!


Aren't they super cool and stylish? Yes, they are. They're also nice and supportive, but lighter than the Foundations, which will be a nice change.

And it's a good thing I got new shoes today -- I'll need a nice long run to work off my lunch.


Yes, that's a double stack veggie burger. Yum.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #222: Puppies vs Elephants

When I was little, I (for some reason) had a huge stuffed elephant.

I also had a sweet, wonderful dog named Lily.

She liked to use the elephant as a pillow.




I found these pictures in a stack of old photos, and I couldn't stop smiling/giggling/crying.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #221: Look look look!

My first crochet attempt!


Oooo... Ahhhh...


So far I learned how to do the slip knot, the chain stitch, and the double crochet.


Just don't look too close, or you'll see all the weird spots where I missed a stitch or pulled my stitches too tight or something.

I can already tell that my crochet kryptonite is going to be counting stitches. It's not that I'm bad at counting -- I mean, I can count other things! But when it comes to knitting or crocheting, I feel like I shouldn't have to use any math at all. I'd just rather eyeball it.

Of course, that road leads to a weird, lumpy, misshapen thing that starts out as a hat and ends up as a potholder. And nobody wants that.

Potholders = lame.*
Hats = awesome.


Til tomorrow!


*That's probably too harsh. Potholders are great.

Fact #220: And for my next trick...

Now that I'm done with my grad school auditions, I've got to do something to fill the time and creative space that prepping for my auditions took up.

So I'm diving into two (seemingly) unrelated projects. First, I want to start writing more. And second, I want to teach myself how to crochet! Ooooo... Ahhhhh...

I always get my best ideas when I'm doing something. Sometimes sitting still makes my brain sleepy, but when I'm running or cooking or putzing around the house my mind wanders to very interesting places. Having something to do when I get stuck writing will be really helpful.

I guess I could use this opportunity to make my house super-spotless, but instead I want to learn to make something fun! Crochet is not only a perfect thing to keep my hands busy while my brain makes stuff up, it's also a way to make two of my favorite things in the world -- hats and blankets!!!


I'm of the firm belief that one can never have too many hats or blankets.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #219: The best thing ever

I got a Thai massage this afternoon. It. Was. Awesome.

Thai massage is sort of like assisted yoga. Instead of being on a table, you lie on a mat on the floor. There's a lot of pressure point work, and tons of stretching. It's such a cool modality. I really liked how it made me more of an active participant than a regular table massage. Instead of just lying there dozing off, I was moving, I was breathing. Life is never really static, and I love that Thai massage seems to embrace that.

Seriously. If you've never had one, get one. You'll thank me later!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #218: Groundhog Day vs Valentine's Day

Yesterday it was 45 degrees in the afternoon! O.M.Sunshine. It was awesome. Everyone was outside soaking up the nice weather.

So this morning I woke up and thought, "You know what? I should really go for a run outside today!"

Then I stepped outside and was almost blown over by freezing cold wind. With a little bit of rain mixed in. Listen, Winter, if you're not really over, you gotta stop teasing me like that.

PS. Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you smooched somebody you love today.


Til tomorrow.

Fact #217: Presents for my feet

I'm getting a new pair of running shoes. Wheeee!!!!!

My feet are so excited!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #216: Shattering

I like reading. I like language. I think it's magical (that's right, magical!) how simple words arranged in the right order can carry so much meaning and reveal such deep truths. For example, this quote:

Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.

-- Florida Scott-Maxwell

I love that. It's true, it's poetic, and it explains so succinctly why life is simultaneously wonderful and difficult.

So go ahead, life. Shatter me.

PS. I'm also very interested in being shattered after I die. Because it's earth-friendly, and also it reminds me of that scene from Terminator 2.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #215: The froyo perimeter

There's a froyo place in Oakland called Razzy Fresh. I love it.

Anytime I come within a certain distance of this place, no matter where I'm headed or what I'm doing, I have to stop there.


...it's a pretty big perimeter.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #214: I'm back!

Grad school auditions: check.

Yaaaaaaay!!!

It was a great trip! Lots of auditions -- some stressful, some wonderful and illuminating and energizing. I learned a lot about where I am as an actor, and what I'm really looking for in my training.

I also got to spend some quality time with good friends, including my awesome hosts. I didn't go out too much during the week, but I had some free time after my last auditions on Thursday -- during which time I managed to consume two delicious Belgian beers, half a basket of French fries, two entrees (I couldn't choose!) and two pieces of cake (I shared!). Yum. So worth it.

Now back to work!


Til tomorrow.

Fact #213: Puppy 'pause' (I don't care what you say, puns are great)

Please excuse me while I audition for grad school.

In the meantime, look at this puppy!

Note to puppy: control your butt.

Til tomorrow!

Fact #212: Puppy 'pause' (paws?)

Please excuse me while I audition for grad school.

In the meantime, look at these cute puppies!

They both seem way too calm about this.

Til tomorrow!

Fact #211: Puppy 'pause' (get it?)

Please excuse me while I audition for grad school.

In the meantime, look at this puppy!

In this scenario, the monkey is me.

Til tomorrow!

Fact #210: Puppy 'pause' (haha, punny!)

Please excuse me while I audition for grad school.

In the meantime, look at this puppy!

This puppy can fly! Also, I'm not 100% sure it's actually a puppy.

Til tomorrow!

Fact #209: Chicago is great

I'm here, I'm here! I made it to Chicago in one piece -- thankfully, there were no shark attacks on the plane. (By which I mean no sharks tried to bite the plane in half, and nobody tried to yank my top down.)

It's nice to be back. I spent the whole El ride from the airport looking out the window and thinking about how much I love Chicago. It's a cool city.

I got settled in with my lovely hosts, spent a lazy afternoon catching up, had some delicious Tom Yum soup from Cozy's, played some scrabble, watched some Modern Family. . . I'd call that the perfect audition prep!

I probably won't have much time to post in the next few days, so it may be mostly pictures of puppies. But I promise they'll be very cute.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #208: But first...

Oh yeah. Before all of my auditions in Chicago, there's one little thing I have to do: get on a stupid airplane and fly way high up in the sky.

Waaah! Well, on the plus side, at least my paralyzing fear of flying takes my mind off any audition nerves.

Oog.

I know all the statistics about how it's safer than driving and all that. I get it. I know it's a pretty irrational fear. But it still freaks me out! Sometimes I even worry about getting hit (or should I say smooshed?) by a crashing plane while I'm walking down the street minding my own business.

I'm even afraid of this happening:



(Whether I'm flying over an ocean or not.)



Til tomorrow!

Fact #207: I want it

On Saturday I'm heading to Chicago to audition for graduate acting programs. I've been preparing for these auditions for a while -- choosing my pieces, working with a coach, tearing them apart and rebuilding them.

I meant to write about it more. I wanted to document my experiences and lessons learned through the process of auditioning for MFA programs.

Then I got nervous. If I spent weeks talking about how excited I was for this opportunity and how ready I was to go back to school, wouldn't it be a hundred thousand million billion times worse if I didn't get offers from any of the programs I wanted? If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, and all that... If I don't admit I want it, maybe I won't care so much if I don't get it.

But you know what? That's the whole reason I started writing this blog in the first place! To see how I move from place to place, from moment to moment. To chart the progression of the future into the present into the past.

I leave on Saturday. On Sunday I have my first audition. By Thursday I'll be back in Pittsburgh. By March, I should know if I'll be going to school in the fall.

I don't know what's going to happen yet. But I do know this: I want it.


Til tomorrow!

Fact #206: Stitch free

I got my stitches out today! And I didn't cry at all.

So... where's my sticker/lollipop?


Til tomorrow!

Fact #205: A picture is worth a thousand words

But a poem is worth a thousand pictures. I like this one by Mary Oliver.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver
published by Atlantic Monthly Press
© Mary Oliver

Til tomorrow!